Feast or Famine: Quick Hits Edition

So last week there was a bit of an issue; I tried loading the post myself and epic failed. I blame that for my awful picks and a 7-9 record last week. This week, I'm already starting in the hole by taking the Steelers. Man, I really hate that team. I mean think of what you hate the most in the universe, then collectively pool it with everyone else's hatred who reading this, and you start to get an idea of the morsel of hatred I have for the Steelers.

So this week I'm sad over a few things: 1) my friends and I did not get ringaide seats at the Royal Rumble in St. Louis and 2) Community is going on hiatus because NBC knows exactly how to kill great things (but that's another column for another day coming very soon). With that, today's picks are short and sweet because I am looking forward to football because the Rams aren't playing. Here we go!

Bucs (-3) @ Jags

Talk about teams that suckand suck hard. Let's go with the Bucs.

Patriots (-8) @ Redskins

Call it a hunch because I have nothing else to go on, but I like the Skins to cover.

Texans (+2.5) @ Bengals

The Texans can be fine without a QB. Bengals are paying like a Marvin Lewis-coached team. Take Houston.

Chiefs (+10.5) @ Jets

Take the Chiefs to cover.

Vikings (+11.5) @ Lions

I like how Ponder played last week and I haven't liked how Detroit has played the last six games. Take points and Vikings.

Saints (-3.5) @ Titans

Brees = super awesome. Take the Saints.

Eagles @ Dolphins (-3)

I'm finally taking the Dolphins which means they'll probably lose this week. Call me the late-comer to the party.

Colts @ Ravens (-16.5)

Go Ravens.

Falcons @ Panthers (+2.5)

Mike Smith is an official idiot. Take the Panthers.

Bears @ Broncos (-3)

Tebow. Enough said.

49ers (-3.5) @ Cardinals

Niners. Enough said.

Bills @ Chargers (-7)

Two bad coaches. Go with the better QB. Rivers > Fitzpatrick.

Packers (-12) @ Raiders

Packers. Enough said.

Giants @ Cowboys (-4.5)

Cowboys are cooler than Giants. Take Dallas.

Rams @ Seahawks (-10)

Two words. Kellen Clemens. Go with the fictitious birds.

So I have lots of other stuff to be super excited about: an MVP testing positive for steroids, Pujols prays to God and goes to the Angels and I have over a thousand hours of Community on DVD to get me through until the spring return of the show. Watch hockey.